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Some parents count the days until they go back to work. Others dread it. And some feel both – sometimes within the same morning. All of that is normal. There’s no “right” moment and no “right” feeling.
When and how you go back to work is a personal decision. It depends on money, your job, your health, the support around you and what everyone in the family wants – and it belongs entirely to you. Here you’ll simply find practical steps to make the transition easier, whatever you’ve decided.
The short answer: Start a few weeks ahead: check your rights, sort out childcare with a plan B for sick days, and talk to your employer about flexible hours or a phased return. If you’re still breastfeeding, start expressing and freezing milk a few weeks before you go back.
When should you start preparing?
It’s a good idea to start thinking about going back a few weeks in advance. That gives you time to sort out childcare, talk to your employer and give the new routine a “practice run” before it’s for real.
Step 1: Get clear on your rights
Every country has its own rules on maternity leave, parental leave and benefits. In Bulgaria, for example, pregnancy and childbirth leave, leave to raise a child up to the age of 2 and the related benefits all have specific rules – such as who can take the leave instead of the mother, and what happens to the benefit if you go back earlier. Rules change, so check the current conditions with your social security institute (in Bulgaria, the NSSI) or ask your HR department.
Step 2: Who will look after your child?
The most common options are a nursery, a childminder or nanny, grandparents, or a mix. Each has its pros and cons. What matters is that you feel at ease with your choice.
- Visit the nursery or meet the childminder beforehand.
- Allow time for settling in – the first separations can be shorter.
- Come up with a “plan B” for the days your child is ill. They will come. 🤧
Have a “trial day” a week before your first day back: the morning routine, the drop-off, a few hours apart. You’ll see where things snag, without the pressure of the real start.
Step 3: Talk to your employer
- Ask what’s changed in the team and in your role.
- Discuss whether flexible hours, working from home or a phased return are possible.
- If you’re breastfeeding and want to carry on, say so, and ask where you can express milk in peace.
What if you’re breastfeeding?
Going back to work doesn’t necessarily mean the end of breastfeeding. Some mums carry on, some gradually stop, and some combine breastfeeding at home with formula during the day. Every one of these options is valid – the choice is yours.
If you want to continue, the NHS and the American Academy of Pediatrics advise:
- start expressing and freezing milk a few weeks before you go back;
- at first, while you’re apart, you’ll usually express about every 3 hours;
- the space should be clean and private – a toilet isn’t suitable;
- keep the milk in a cool bag on the way, and in the fridge or freezer at home;
- a photo of your baby or one of their little clothes can help your milk “let down” more easily.
Step 4: Share out the jobs again
Going back to work is a change for the whole family. Sit down together and decide who does drop-off, who does pick-up, who cooks and who stays home when your child is ill. Dad is a full parent, not a “helper” – and many families find this is exactly where he finds his own rhythm with the child.
And the feelings?
You might feel relief. You might feel sad. You might miss your child and, at the same time, enjoy finally drinking your coffee while it’s hot. ☕ None of these feelings makes you a better or worse parent.
If the anxiety or sadness is constant and getting in the way of everyday life, talk to someone close to you or to your GP.
Don’t judge the new routine by the first two weeks. You and your child both need time to adjust – things usually fall into place faster than it seems on that first Monday.
In short
Sooner or later, full-time or part-time – you know best what suits your family. There’ll be tired mornings and muddled weeks, but the new everyday life will find its shape. And you’ll find your place in it, however worn out you feel today. 💛
Sources: NHS – Breastfeeding and going back to work; American Academy of Pediatrics (HealthyChildren.org) – Expressing breast milk at work; Raising Children Network – Breastfeeding & returning to work; NSSI (Bulgaria) – Cash benefit for raising a child up to the age of 2.
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